You’re Not Who I Thought You Were

What a total ass.  To actually say to me, “Because, you know, you turned out not to be the person who I thought you were.”  Ha ha ha.  Really?  Really, you moron?  I reconnected with you after 30 years, spent 6 years intimately with you, and you’ve been trying to fiddle your way back into my life for the past 4.  And not until I pin you to the wall after a recent phone conversation when, during a text, I ask you why you deleted me on Facebook.  And the BEST – the BEST you can come up with (because, God knows,  you’ll NEVER be accountable or honest about your own actions) is to tell me that, “I’m not who you thought I was.”  

I’m sorry.  That’s just hysterical.

Because I spent 6 years, hanging on to your every word?  Because I spent 6 years, defending you and your actions to everyone?  Because, after 6 years, I had just had ENOUGH.  My needs, my wants, my desires were always fulfilled – providing yours were met first.  You strung me along and, I the silly fool, allowed it.  Because I knew you loved me.  And I knew you wanted to be with me.  And I knew, one day, we would live happily-ever-after.  

And after sending you packing back to Oregon on your last trip out here.  When you came out for my birthday and ended up being the rudest, meanest, obnoxious person to me, the kids, anyone you had contact with then, I asked you to leave.  And then I sat back and watched.  Watched you morph into a person who was the exact opposite of the guy I knew.  You suddenly developed a close relationship with distant relatives, you suddenly found God, you walked around with this kind and gentle demeanor that didn’t show itself very often before.  

Meanwhile, I had a complete physical and mental meltdown.  It took two years to piece myself back together, but I did it.  I found myself.  I voiced my opinion.  I no longer walked on egg shells, was quiet so not to upset the apple cart, found my life.  And I’ve never been better.

Look, maybe you feel you were “misled.”  Misled by someone who was always agreeable to you, tried to make you happy, loved you like no one else ever loved you.  Because that was me.  And too bad, so sad for you that you  were stupid enough to let me get away.  But don’t cry in your beer and make me look like some sort of bipolar mess because my backbone became strong and my balls grew to twice their size.  I loved you.  You were an ass.  You gave me no option other than to give up on you.  I did.  And now I don’t have to be your personal rooting section anymore.  Then, yeah, I’m not the person who you thought I was.  

Because I am wonderful.  I am beautiful.  I am fan-fucking-tastic.  There was no one better before me and there sure as hell won’t be anyone better after me.  Your loss, not mine.  I am a catch.  I am the brightest star in the sky.  I am the love of your lifetime.  And you were too stupid to keep me.

Shock me.  Take the blame.  Be accountable.  Or not.  I don’t really care.